“From a very young age we are groomed to be independent, strong, engaging, unpredictable, outgoing, evolved, inventive and then at the very same time, sensitive, welcoming, transparent, predictable, and humble.”
"We have sadly also made it a struggle for young boys to have a genuine interest in the arts: theatre, music etc., without some innuendo about sexual preference."
Sadness is such a difficult thing to diagnose. We characterize every emotion by an illness; we fixate our intrinsic feelings on extrinsic values. In fact, one cannot simply be sad for any lengthy period. If sadness exceeds a certain limit, it is most definitely diagnosed as a depressive state, and this diagnosis is anything but. Happiness shares a similar diagnosis. If we are too happy, something is likewise wrong with us. No wonder our children are confused about virtually everything.
From a very young age we are groomed to be independent, strong, engaging, unpredictable, outgoing, evolved, inventive and then at the very same time, sensitive, welcoming, transparent, predictable, and humble.
As young girls we are told we can be anything we want to be, but it is best to do that “anything” with someone else; under the guise of a male. We are encouraged to show our personality in our communication and emotional presentation, yet we must exude our personal style within the confines of a world that will not offend the male population. The social stigma is anything but flattering and the expectations as a female in almost any environment is less than complimentary. Hide your shoulders…they may distract your male classmates. Do not wear pants that hug a part of the body in an unflattering or flattering way. This is in no way a dialogue in support of feminism, but rather of humanism.
As parents, we need to help young women to understand which parameters are for the overall good, and which are extreme and unnecessary, and share ways to act and react.
Young boys are no different. Our world has created an environment that makes it difficult to be a gentleman; boys are confused about their roles in society and the information broadcasted is so confusing that mere dating seems like an obstacle above and beyond that of simply being a teenager.
We have sadly also made it a struggle for young boys to have a genuine interest in the arts: theatre, music etc., without some innuendo about sexual preference.
Not every boy wants to or needs to grow up to profess his manhood by choosing a gender appropriate profession as frequently identified by traditional social norms. We have made it incredibly acceptable for a girl to reach for the stars in her career, but have created a cloud of judgement for those who wish to marry young and stay at home with their children.
The main issue is judgement, and it comes from within.
Let's teach our children, and those they interact with, that this is not acceptable.
Girls and boys can grow up to be anything they want. What they wear does not define them. We will love them, no matter what, for who they are. Sadness is normal. Happiness is normal.
Someone else does not get to determine another's value and self-worth.
Our children are a direct reflection of us, and our beliefs.
We can do better~