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  • Writer's pictureGet Healthy With Heather


Imagine, if you will, being 12 years old at a friend's house for a sleepover. Your friend's dad is single and he brings his drunk friend home after a night at the bar. You're soundly sleeping next to your friend and he snuggles up beside you. Then proceeds to do what he wants. When you wake up and tell your friend about it she explains that this is just how he is. Translation: he's been doing it to her too. You're confused and afraid and tell no one. Imagine seeing his daughters at school everyday. I never told anyone. I was afraid. What could've happened 6 months down line?


I don't have to imagine. It happened to me.

Imagine you're 17 and you sneak out of the house with a friend to go to Pizza Hut at 11 p.m. because you have strict parents, you're a rule follower, and you rarely get to go out because you work 35 hours hours a week. The boys who pick you up to go are two football players from school that you know well, one of which is your friend's boyfriend. After Pizza Hut, you think they're bringing you home, but they travel out to an abandoned road. The couple exits the car and the other boy locks the door and hops in back. You scream, fight, and beg, but he continues. The next day you arrive at the mall with a group of football players laughing at you. Saying things like, "Don't bother saying anything. He already told us you like him and he isn't interested so he already warned us you'd be making stuff up." I had said nothing to anyone except my friend who approached the car when I was fighting him off, and she denied she saw anything. So the experience happened over and over again as the team humiliated me for an entire year at school. By the time I was comfortable coming forward, the statute of limitations took precedence.

Again, I don't have to imagine this, it happened to me.

Imagine being 18 and a senior in high school. You're parents allow you to go with your friend to Ohio State to stay at her brother's house. Everyone is drinking but you. You watch, eat pizza, drink Mountain Dew and go to the bed you were told to sleep in. Time passes and you wake up to a guy that you know from high school, a freshman in college now, drunk and on top of you. Again, he was too big to fight off, but I tried. Screamed, cried, begged. His 240 lb body to my 125 lbs. Then imagine 20 years later that he's the doctor that pronounces your dad dead at the hospital.

I don't have to imagine, it happened to me.

Imagine going on a date at 21. You didn't like the guy. He began sitting outside your work. He would be in parking lots when you were shopping. And then one night he shows up at your apartment that you've never taken him to. You crack the door and he busts in. Your roommates aren't home. You know how the rest of the story plays out and he didn't use protection.

I don't have to imagine, it happened to me.

Then imagine being pregnant for your second child and your area director is suddenly interested in pregnant women. You're a manager and if he calls, you are required to stop what you're doing and come in to work. Even after hours. I gave a notice and quit, but not until I tried to pursue sexual harassment. The company escorted me out like a criminal and gave me a $15 gift certificate for my hassle. He was later fired (years later) as was his father for sexual harassment. But the things he said and did including exposing himself were horrific.

I don't have to imagine. It happened to me.


Fortunately, none of these horrific experiences resulted in pregnancy. And I'm unsure about what I would have done at 13, but I'm confident that in the other scenarios I would have had the babies and gave them up for adoption. That's me. I'm not you. It's not my place to tell you what to do.

But if I lived in a state where my ovary had to burst before they'd abort an ectopic pregnancy that would be different. If I was carrying a baby not thriving that had died inside me or who was in constant pain, that would be different.

Abortion is not a form of birth control. You'll never convince me otherwise. If you're forced into a sexual situation, the option should be offered and it shouldn't be broadcasted. It's our government and Healthcare system that's at fault. No one who has been assaulted should have to go to an abortion clinic. It should be a private, medical procedure at a hospital.

Miscarriages are not voluntary abortions. Ask anyone who is still suffering from the loss. Disability is not a reason to abort. Missing vital organs is. Risk to the mother is. These situations should be provided with different terminology. I'm a conservative. I'm a Christian. And I still don't believe a blanket law or term suffices. And don't say that these extreme circumstances don't count. In some of the state's trigger laws, they do.

I was taught if you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to assume the consequences. That's not the same as sex by force. That's not the same as becoming septic and dying from a failure to thrive scenario.

I didn't partake in these activities in high school, willingly, and trust me, I was publicly humiliated for it.

And ask yourself, what else is this about? Seems like another distraction and it's working. We can't accomplish anything divided and without all of the information.


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