~No Gray Areas~
This blog I started last year with my health journey was an additional way to become emotionally healthy. I love to write, and I wanted to share my voice with the world…or at least my friends on Facebook. I was consistent with this too…until I wasn’t.
Jumping off the bandwagon
When I began this blog a little over a year ago, I was beginning a personal health journey. I was successful. The program was successful. I learned valuable lessons and gained awesome tools to achieve long-term success. I know the correct micros and macros. I have researched and retained the information necessary to transition from a “health plan” to a consistent lifestyle. But I’m obsessive. In EVERYTHING I do. I have NEVER understood how to live in the gray.
I’m an all or nothing kind of gal. So, when it became time for me to transition from my “weight loss” plan to a more conservative maintenance plan, I jumped off the wagon, headfirst. I didn’t fall. I jumped.
This blog I started last year along with my health journey was an additional way to become emotionally healthy. I love to write, and I wanted to share my voice with the world…or at least my friends on Facebook. I was consistent with this too…until I wasn’t.
Again, all or nothing. No gray.
First, I decided to take a break from the writing. I stopped feeling motivated. I didn’t feel like my writing was reaching people. Then as the summer progressed, I decided to take little hiatuses from my health plan. (Notice I rarely refer to it as a diet because of the connotation, though in retrospect, it makes very little difference). I wanted to have a drink, which led to French fries at a restaurant instead of steamed veggies, which led to “let’s have some ice cream” (since I have already messed this up for the day).
But it wasn’t a day. It became weeks. And months. And the old excuses came whirling back.
Andy Andrews once shared, “When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.”
My undecided heart searched for an escape and an excuse. I was waiting for a sign or for someone else to make me feel the desire and motivation I was lacking.
The bottom line is, I need to make healthy choices because of my age and other risk factors. Obesity runs in my family. Heart conditions run in my family. Thyroid issues run in my family, and mine is enlarged and must be evaluated yearly. Cancer runs in my family. Crippling arthritis runs in my family, and I am already experiencing symptoms from these realties; scenarios I cannot reverse even with a consistent lifestyle change.
So, I waited. I suffered. Not just with my weight gain because honestly, that’s material. I suffered with the return of bloating, swelling, indigestion, depression, rapid heartrate, exhaustion, inability to sleep at night, lack of desire for ANYTHING that requires physical activity, and the list continues.
I maintained my “steps” most days, but I chased my activity with obsessive amounts of sugar. I mean, an entire box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, or a quart of our local homemade ice cream. Obsessive. No gray area.
What is the point of my sharing this with the world? Someone else out there is struggling or has struggled. Someone else out there is afraid of the unknown, this pandemic, and is making less than healthy choices with their health and emotional well-being. Someone else out there can relate. And if that is just one person, this is worth it.
I am back on schedule, I think.
I mean, I have been for one calendar week so let’s see how it goes. 😊
I am monitoring my activity to do just enough…not too much and not the motivational level of a couch potato. About an hour a day in two separate 30-minute increments or four 15-minute increments. I am aiming for a combined 14, 000 steps a day as this has been my goal for the past year and though I often reach it, my average is between 10,000 and 12, 000 steps.
I have resumed eating 6 times a day; 5 mini meals to fuel my body and 1 lean protein and green (vegetable) meal, though most days I have a little extra protein such as low-fat cheese and eggs. I frequently add these to my dinner as healthy fats.
After one week, I probably do not weigh less, though I might. I honestly do not know.
I have found this to be less motivating…weighing myself all the time, and the weight loss shouldn’t be the ultimate goal anyway…though trust me, I want to lose some weight.
So, I didn’t weigh myself when I started back on a more focused plan.
What I do know after one week; my NSV’s (Non-scale victories)?
I am ready to go to bed at night and I fall asleep quickly.
I do not have indigestion.
I feel thinner, though again, I do not know that to be fact (I haven’t taken measurements either).
My energy level is slowly increasing.
I am hydrated and more focused on my water intake.
I am happier.
I watch less television.
I wake up earlier instead of feeling like I need to sleep in until 10:00 a.m., just because I can.
I feel less on edge and I am not as worried about the pandemic; my constant cleaning and freaking out has transitioned in one week to simply straightening things up as needed, resuming my regular cleaning schedule, and less screaming, “Have you washed your hands?’
Rest assured, every blog post won’t be about this. In fact, if you look over some of my posts from last year, which by the way, I am pretty proud of, I didn’t spend much time talking about “dieting.”
My focus was and is on my health and the health of those I love on a comprehensive level. Health and Happiness.
Charlotte Bronte once said, “Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.”
So, I hope you will join me in this journey and share some happiness with me and with others.